Anger
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned.
Buddha
568-488 BC, Founder of Buddhism
~~~~~~~
The thing that usually creates anger within us is what another person
is doing or not doing. Whatever it may be, our anger is in direct proportion to our level of disagreement or un-acceptance.
This would seemingly infer that deep within our psyche is the belief that we have some great, mystical power of control and are in some way responsible for their actions or inactions.
The serenity prayer gives us a well grounded ideal to follow:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change:
While I know that I have the potential to affect another person over a
period of time by planting seeds of love & kindness. I cannot do
much to alter that persons immediate perception or reality.
The courage to change the things I can:
I can change and control my actions, my words, my perception.
I can choose the type of seed I will plant & wait, trusting that in due
season it will grow & bear fruit.
The wisdom to know the difference:
By thinking and meditating on the above; wisdom is birthed.
I can change myself & over due season encourage positive change in
another, the ultimate change however is entirely up to them.
The opposite of anger is peace, tranquility, calm, harmony.
The measure of our inner peace & harmony will be determined by our
capacity for accepting what is.
“I will have no serenity until I accept that, person, place, thing or
situation as being exactly the way it’s meant to be at this moment.”
(pg. 449 of the Big Book of AA)
Anger, like a venomous bite creates discord, pain & confusion.
The only antitoxin is understanding and forgiveness.
This is what we have the power & control over. To determine whether
we will live in unacceptance and anger, or empathy and compassion.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Kindness No Matter What
Kindness
The courteous learn their virtue from the discourteous.
Turkish Proverb
~~~~~
Kindness is a distinct & universal language.
It is understood by all & transcends all borders.
Kindness is limitless in its power to transform the ugliness of anger into the beauty of tranquility.
Kindness never fails to turn discord to harmony, chaos to peace.
Kindness is expressed with a smile, a tender touch, a gentle word of encouragement.
Kindness costs the giver little, while providing the recipient with much.
Thinking about the opposite of kindness may help to understand the importance of it being given.
Its' opposites are:
Cruelty
Meanness
Brutality
Spite
Malice
Vindictiveness
All of these negative forces create pain, fear, and anger. One of the primary reasons we suffer from so many wars and conflicts either personally or globally stems from the fact that we do not extend kindness to everyone that we possibly can.
Just imagine a world where everyone was determined to do so. One person at a time we would change this very confused and hurting world to one of peace and harmony.
I will do my part. How about you?
The courteous learn their virtue from the discourteous.
Turkish Proverb
~~~~~
Kindness is a distinct & universal language.
It is understood by all & transcends all borders.
Kindness is limitless in its power to transform the ugliness of anger into the beauty of tranquility.
Kindness never fails to turn discord to harmony, chaos to peace.
Kindness is expressed with a smile, a tender touch, a gentle word of encouragement.
Kindness costs the giver little, while providing the recipient with much.
Thinking about the opposite of kindness may help to understand the importance of it being given.
Its' opposites are:
Cruelty
Meanness
Brutality
Spite
Malice
Vindictiveness
All of these negative forces create pain, fear, and anger. One of the primary reasons we suffer from so many wars and conflicts either personally or globally stems from the fact that we do not extend kindness to everyone that we possibly can.
Just imagine a world where everyone was determined to do so. One person at a time we would change this very confused and hurting world to one of peace and harmony.
I will do my part. How about you?
Monday, July 13, 2009
A complicated goodbye
This is a little something different. It is a response to a dream I recently had that left me feeling confused, empty, hurting.
We had it goin’ on
We had it goin’ on or so we thought,
there was you, me, and the universe fallin’ into step;
answers weren’t needed, there were no questions
my passion could not hide,
our dance was immaculate, divine, a splendid eclipse;
if we could have found the rhythm, if we could have
found the resonance of the tear I shed that very first step;
if only we had not faltered, if only we hadn’t paused
to figure it all out.
We had it goin’ on or so we thought,
there was you, me, and the universe fallin’ into step;
the staccato rhythm, the stumbling of passing time,
no reprieve, no rhyme, only an enigma of tangled desires;
blinding irreverence of the rarity;
slanted views of honor, dignity, fidelity.
slashing and feinting, An enchufla, a gancho, a distortion of fate;
the dance we sought could not be created by the blind,
a quagmire of ignorance leading innocence astray.
We had it goin’ on or so we thought,
there was you, me, and the universe fallin’ into step;
razing the bar, dwelling on that, that never was,
whimsical meanderings of forbidden dreams
desirous delirium altering wanton crucibles of belief.
Falling just short of demented rejection,
not far enough away from the circumcision of time
we wallowed in the frothing moments of indecision.
A Waltz; a Tango; a Salsa; a gaffe of diminutive miscalculation.
We had it goin’ on or so we thought,
there was you, me, and the universe fallin’ into step;
Until rendered helpless by the continued ejaculation of impotent
conversation we fell from grace;
a chasm built on clouds leaving no residue, no charred ashes, no shadow;
like a magicians illusion we vanished, no Bossa Nova, no Twist,
no Fox Trot; the steps to our dance remained elusive, a phantasm
conjured by some deranged miscreant.
I’d be alright now; if only you hadn’t told me how stupid a bovine is.
We had it goin’ on
We had it goin’ on or so we thought,
there was you, me, and the universe fallin’ into step;
answers weren’t needed, there were no questions
my passion could not hide,
our dance was immaculate, divine, a splendid eclipse;
if we could have found the rhythm, if we could have
found the resonance of the tear I shed that very first step;
if only we had not faltered, if only we hadn’t paused
to figure it all out.
We had it goin’ on or so we thought,
there was you, me, and the universe fallin’ into step;
the staccato rhythm, the stumbling of passing time,
no reprieve, no rhyme, only an enigma of tangled desires;
blinding irreverence of the rarity;
slanted views of honor, dignity, fidelity.
slashing and feinting, An enchufla, a gancho, a distortion of fate;
the dance we sought could not be created by the blind,
a quagmire of ignorance leading innocence astray.
We had it goin’ on or so we thought,
there was you, me, and the universe fallin’ into step;
razing the bar, dwelling on that, that never was,
whimsical meanderings of forbidden dreams
desirous delirium altering wanton crucibles of belief.
Falling just short of demented rejection,
not far enough away from the circumcision of time
we wallowed in the frothing moments of indecision.
A Waltz; a Tango; a Salsa; a gaffe of diminutive miscalculation.
We had it goin’ on or so we thought,
there was you, me, and the universe fallin’ into step;
Until rendered helpless by the continued ejaculation of impotent
conversation we fell from grace;
a chasm built on clouds leaving no residue, no charred ashes, no shadow;
like a magicians illusion we vanished, no Bossa Nova, no Twist,
no Fox Trot; the steps to our dance remained elusive, a phantasm
conjured by some deranged miscreant.
I’d be alright now; if only you hadn’t told me how stupid a bovine is.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Time & Place
TIME IS NOT ENDLESS
Life is too short to waste. Dreams are fulfilled only through action, not through endless planning to take action.Traveling your path in this life provides opportunities for many choices.
Where we are at any given moment in time is a direct result of the choices we have made previous to this NOW. It is only in assuming full responsibility for our reality that we are able to create the world we desire. As long as we allow ourselve's to blame our past, or others for our present circumstances we disempower the potential within us.
The small spot on this planet that we each iondividually inhabit at any given time is totally ours. We are responsible for the effect we have on those around us; for the effect we have on everything that touches us. If we desire a life of harmony, peace, joy and love then we must emit those qualities to everything within our reach. It is a proven law of physics that for every action there is a reaction. A positive action results in a positive consequence.
If you want to be loved, then be loving. If your desire is to enjoy the sweet fruits of a rich and fertile life then you must plant like seeds in the lives of others.
Embrace your NOW! Embrace your power. Embrace your potential.
Life is too short to waste. Dreams are fulfilled only through action, not through endless planning to take action.Traveling your path in this life provides opportunities for many choices.
Where we are at any given moment in time is a direct result of the choices we have made previous to this NOW. It is only in assuming full responsibility for our reality that we are able to create the world we desire. As long as we allow ourselve's to blame our past, or others for our present circumstances we disempower the potential within us.
The small spot on this planet that we each iondividually inhabit at any given time is totally ours. We are responsible for the effect we have on those around us; for the effect we have on everything that touches us. If we desire a life of harmony, peace, joy and love then we must emit those qualities to everything within our reach. It is a proven law of physics that for every action there is a reaction. A positive action results in a positive consequence.
If you want to be loved, then be loving. If your desire is to enjoy the sweet fruits of a rich and fertile life then you must plant like seeds in the lives of others.
Embrace your NOW! Embrace your power. Embrace your potential.
Monday, February 16, 2009
CHANGE
Change is the only constant. Resisting the ever changing world around us brings only pain, resentment and eventually anger. We must learn to roll easily with change. We must allow change to transform us willingly without resistance. Like a soft piece of clay we must be molded and shaped into that which we are truly meant to be.
In December of last year I was not too surprisingly (considering the economy) let go from my position with Riverside County; this led to my actively entering the job market which we are all too painfully aware is struggling right now.
By entering this phase of change free of resentment, free of resistance, I was greeted with the offer of new employment that requires I move to Central California a most beautiful part of the state. I will be working as a supervising counselor at the state prison in Soledad. What a wonderful opportunity to have a positive impact in the lives of individuals lost and hurting. The fact that it brings a very nice salary increase from what I was bringing home is an added bonus that alone would make it an affirmative transformation.
Had I resisted the change brought by my release from the county. If I had not greeted the change with open arms while embracing the potential it held I very easily could have fallen into depression, inaction and stagnation. I share this little scene from my life in the hope that you who might read this would be blessed. So that you would face your trials and tribulations knowing that just around the corner is a new day full of wonder and grace; a new reality that can only be seen with an open, eager heart.
I talk often about living in "NOWNESS." So I say again, Carpe diem. This moment, this "NOW" is your's. Live it, embrace it. Do not deprive yourself of the marvel that resides in the present.
In December of last year I was not too surprisingly (considering the economy) let go from my position with Riverside County; this led to my actively entering the job market which we are all too painfully aware is struggling right now.
By entering this phase of change free of resentment, free of resistance, I was greeted with the offer of new employment that requires I move to Central California a most beautiful part of the state. I will be working as a supervising counselor at the state prison in Soledad. What a wonderful opportunity to have a positive impact in the lives of individuals lost and hurting. The fact that it brings a very nice salary increase from what I was bringing home is an added bonus that alone would make it an affirmative transformation.
Had I resisted the change brought by my release from the county. If I had not greeted the change with open arms while embracing the potential it held I very easily could have fallen into depression, inaction and stagnation. I share this little scene from my life in the hope that you who might read this would be blessed. So that you would face your trials and tribulations knowing that just around the corner is a new day full of wonder and grace; a new reality that can only be seen with an open, eager heart.
I talk often about living in "NOWNESS." So I say again, Carpe diem. This moment, this "NOW" is your's. Live it, embrace it. Do not deprive yourself of the marvel that resides in the present.
Monday, January 12, 2009
When Times are Tough
It certainly seems as if the world is going quite insane these days.
Israel is waging war in the Gaza. The USA is continuing its' aggression in the Middle-East. Africa remains in a state of civil war, poverty & debauchery. Recession, lay-offs, and graft are all pervasive. Everywhere one looks there is discontent, anger & violence.
During times like this it is easy to allow ourselve's to become discouraged, to join the masses in a disillusioned frenzy of malcontent. It is times like these that truly separate the heroes from the common person. I encourage you to visit the following link titled, "Are you going to finish strong?" http://www.maniacworld.com/are-you-going-to-finish-strong.html .
If you are reading this message then you are undoubtedly a person much like myself; a person who wants to have a positive impact on & in the world. It is painfully obvious that anger, rage, violence, aggression & all the other negative practices that seem to pervade our world aren't the answer. No the answer is in the opposite. Paul of Tarsus defined love as "patient, and kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs (Corinthians 13:3-5) ." Regardless of your faith or lack of; living according to this set of principles is obviously the only way we can turn this maddened world around.
So here is the challenge; when all seems lost. When you have been laid off from your job, your family is frightened of what tomorrow will bring & there does not seem to be even a scrap of good news on the horizon; will you finish strong? Will you give to your neighbor patience & kindness; will you remain grounded in the principles of love. Remember what Gandhi said, "whatever change I would see in this world let it begin, here, now, with me."
The only way we will see positive change in this world is to finish strong in love!
Israel is waging war in the Gaza. The USA is continuing its' aggression in the Middle-East. Africa remains in a state of civil war, poverty & debauchery. Recession, lay-offs, and graft are all pervasive. Everywhere one looks there is discontent, anger & violence.
During times like this it is easy to allow ourselve's to become discouraged, to join the masses in a disillusioned frenzy of malcontent. It is times like these that truly separate the heroes from the common person. I encourage you to visit the following link titled, "Are you going to finish strong?" http://www.maniacworld.com/are-you-going-to-finish-strong.html .
If you are reading this message then you are undoubtedly a person much like myself; a person who wants to have a positive impact on & in the world. It is painfully obvious that anger, rage, violence, aggression & all the other negative practices that seem to pervade our world aren't the answer. No the answer is in the opposite. Paul of Tarsus defined love as "patient, and kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs (Corinthians 13:3-5) ." Regardless of your faith or lack of; living according to this set of principles is obviously the only way we can turn this maddened world around.
So here is the challenge; when all seems lost. When you have been laid off from your job, your family is frightened of what tomorrow will bring & there does not seem to be even a scrap of good news on the horizon; will you finish strong? Will you give to your neighbor patience & kindness; will you remain grounded in the principles of love. Remember what Gandhi said, "whatever change I would see in this world let it begin, here, now, with me."
The only way we will see positive change in this world is to finish strong in love!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Another Year has Passed
It is most certainly Christmas time; the weather has finally become just a little frosty here in Southern California; my friend in Duluth Minnesota reports four inches of snow just night before last.
For the very first time I actually went out to the stores to see what all the fuss was about on Black Friday; except for a whole lotta crowds, packed parking lots, and a ton of confusion I just sorta missed what everone else was gettin so excited bout.
It was encouraging to see so many folks willing to let go of their hard earned dollars in the midst of all this recession talk. It is a time to be particularly thankful if we have a roof over our heads, food in our tummy, clothes on our back, even doubly thankful if we have a steady paycheck comin in.
This is a time of the year when kindness is a tradition and giving seems to come a little bit easier for most folks. I hope you will extend your hand out to someone a little less fortunate than you. Share some love and generosity with another; you will both benefit in the giving.
Happy holidays to all, may you be wonderfully and richly blessed.
David
For the very first time I actually went out to the stores to see what all the fuss was about on Black Friday; except for a whole lotta crowds, packed parking lots, and a ton of confusion I just sorta missed what everone else was gettin so excited bout.
It was encouraging to see so many folks willing to let go of their hard earned dollars in the midst of all this recession talk. It is a time to be particularly thankful if we have a roof over our heads, food in our tummy, clothes on our back, even doubly thankful if we have a steady paycheck comin in.
This is a time of the year when kindness is a tradition and giving seems to come a little bit easier for most folks. I hope you will extend your hand out to someone a little less fortunate than you. Share some love and generosity with another; you will both benefit in the giving.
Happy holidays to all, may you be wonderfully and richly blessed.
David
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